God alters football game

After more than 13 billion years of dormancy, God came out of hiding today and directly altered the structure of the universe to change the outcome of one particular athletic competition held among members of one particular semi-advanced species of organism played on a land mass, called the United States of America, located on Earth, a 4 billion year old planet in the solar system S2R9D located in the Milky Way galaxy.  In particular, God altered several pathways of space time so that the Arizona Cardinals, one of the two competing teams in the athletic competition, could win the athletic event and move on to play in the most important competition held on that particular land mass in that particular type of athletic event during one orbit around planet Earth’s sun.

God, who laid forth certain physical laws of nature during the creation of the universe 13 billion years ago, has left those physical laws to dictate all events of time and space hence, and has not intervened once in the history of the universe.  Until now, that is.  God’s motives for destroying the constancy of the fundamental forces controlling the motion of every particle in the universe are unknown.  What is clear is that the Arizona Cardinals could never have made it to the Super Bowl, as their now upcoming athletic event is called, while still constrained to follow the natural physical laws of this universe.

Whether God’s intervention against the physical laws of nature will have any side effects on the universe is yet to be seen, although several black holes reportedly spontaneously appeared in QR5501S, a small spiral galaxy located in Local Group 7, right around the time that God altered the quantum brain waves of Earth inhabitant Terry McAulay, a biological entity known as a human.  McAulay, who had authority over the rules of the athletic competition by presiding as a “referee”,  as it’s known on Earth, did not enforce a particular rule of the competition due to God’s intervention, a move which ended up being key to the outcome of the event.

Kurt Warner, a human member of the winning team, was quick to thank God for intervening on his team’s behalf after the sporting event ended, although it is unclear how Warner was able to infer the supernatural change in neuronal activity of McAulay – humans, being only a semi-advanced species of organism, are incapable of external brain wave processing.  A possible collusion between Warner and God is being investigated.