A study published this week in the scientific journal Ferrohydrodynamics And Gayness Studies (FAGS) reports the shocking conclusion that homosexual teenagers are over 900 times more likely to grow up to be homosexual adults. The five year study collected data from 2000 male adults: 1000 Queer Individuals (QI’s) and 1000 Not Queer Individuals (NQI’s). Remarkably, not a single one of the NQI’s were gay during their childhood, while 980 of the QI’s first demonstrated gayitude as teenagers or younger.
According to Jim Cokluver, lead scientist in the study, “It had previously been suspected that there might be a correlation between Cake Boys and Cake Men, but never before had a study of this magnitude been performed. This data provides the long-sought link between homojuvenus – that is, young Fag – and the older Fag homoseni.”
Along with the data, the report includes several case studies, including that of “Jeremy”. As a youngster, Jeremy showed tendencies that would classify him as a Type I gaywad: partaking in ballet classes, dressing like a queer, and constantly demonstrating his sexual attraction to other boys. However, it came as a complete surprise to friends and family when Jeremy brought home a boyfriend for Christmas at age 25. “We never knew our sweet little gay boy would grow up to be gay,” recalled his father, “we never knew.”
The report stops short of providing a concrete explanation for the phenomenon, pointing out that the scientific field of Juvenile Dickmuncherology, as it’s termed, is still in its infancy. Nevertheless, the work is being hailed as a milestone in the Biomechanics of Gayocity, and provides an important step in understanding Gayvolution.
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tagged: Ferrohydrodynamics, homosexuality, Juvenile Dickmuncherology, study
