The pro-life/pro-choice debate was rekindled this week, after the Colorado Springs conservative group “Because God Says So” proposed adding a radical new amendment to the constitution. The amendment takes the pro-life stance to a bold new level, granting full human rights and privileges, under law, to an unborn child at the moment of boner. According to the group’s website, “When a man receives a boner, that is a message from God that He wants that individual to procreate and produce one of God’s children. To do anything otherwise would be not only to deny God’s will, but also to deny that potential human of its God given right to live.”
If the new Amendment is passed in next month’s election, it would bring about several dramatic changes in the current law. For one, all means of birth control, including abstinence, would be illegal. Further, any male caught with a boner not in the process of fertilizing a female egg would be considered a felon. Needless to say, abortion would be extremely illegal and punishable by death, even in cases of rape, incest, and impregnation-by-wild-mule-after-being-kidnapped-and-forcefully-tied-down-by-foreign-perverts-filming-”Mule-on-Girl”-porn.
When asked how they could possibly justify giving the government the right to arrest 13 year old boys for masturbating, Colleen Sheer, a spokesperson for the group, replied candidly, ” because God says so”.
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tagged: abortion, Amendment 48, boner, pro life
I have a friend that is a member of the Colorado Springs conservative group “Because God Says So”, and I asked him a few questions about the “life at boner” policy.
He said that upon approval of this amendment, BGSS is considering setting up a facility where men can go put their boners to use. He called it a “brothel”, which I think is a religious term or something. BGSS believes an establishment like this could really help people stop leading such sinful lives.